No.156519
>>156511I'd quit my Sisyphean zero prospects career and just draw draw draw.
As always, the question is "but why not change your course of action NOW?" May it be that it's provisional life mind parasite speaking, but I'd prefer to go down the road generating the most possibilities and hope. Having hell-loads of money to spend on possible treatments is superior, is it not? Yet it is not a true guarantee, either, and I may be bartering mental health for merely a chance for physical health stabilization.
Overanalyzing is pointless. If there is a suggestion to be made, then face the real possibility that, in retrospect, any and all your choices were, are, and will be wrong by any metric - internal or external - so stop minding much.
No.156520
>>156519Right. Reminds me of that fairy tale from Monster "I should have made a deal with the devil/I shouldn't have made the deal with the devil". Ultimately, at the end of their life, people will always regret, because they don't want to die, and unable to change the outcome, they want to give some meaning to their lives.
No.156524
Depends on how long I have to live.
If it's still years to come, I'd probably still live like I am right now.
But if it's like within a year or two, I'd probably "disappear", travel places, be out doing drugs and other illegal stuff towards the end, just to see how it feels. Wouldn't want to be tracked back to my family though, wouldn't want to defame them/be a burden after life too. Would spend every minute of the day before that watching anime/gaming.
No.156525
>>156523oh I did all kinda drugs suicidally for years, gave me brain damage. But I stopped because I stopped being suicidal, and decided to plan on more long term living from certain point onwards. But if I were incurably ill, I wouldn't care about that anymore.
I'm just saying, human body is more resilient then you think. I did ld50 doses many times, and survived. Killing oneself by overdosing drugs isn't as easy as the movies make you think! Your body will do everything to survive, even stop oxygen flow to the brain temporarily just to keep the heart pumping etc.
No.156526
assassinate politicians
No.156527
>>156526You'd need to assasinate the person giving the bribes that corrupt them.
No.156530
>>156527that falls outside the scope of the current project
mvp target is to put the fear of god in them
No.156531
I would do nothing. I would probably quit my job and rot in my room until time comes.
No.156537
>>156511First I'd run gnu shred on every last piece of digital storage I own, purge all my major online accounts.
Then I would go fuck whores, and act on as many intrusive thoughts I reasonably can. Like, not killing or dying, but "this guy's being an asshole, I'm going to punch the shit out of him" and (especially) "this faggot parked his car wrong and it inconveniences me so I'm going to key the shit out of it". Sometimes I see people acting like they're untouchable. I'd love to remind them, all it takes is one deranged guy to shatter their sense of security and have other people of their category clutching their pearls.
Or maybe I'd become the opposite, embracing nonchalant stoicism. Who knows.
I'm not far from dying on any given day, to be honest. Close calls in traffic.
No.156540
>>156537>>156538all u have to do is learn predatory street combat...
No.156542
>>156511I work with the elderly and sick daily (I work in healthcare), and I promised myself that I'll kill myself before I ever get infirm.
No.156544
>>156540/qa/ becomes cancer ridden gangstalkers beating up the local street thugs yakuza style...
No.156550
>>156542I've heard stories from people who work in healthcare, and I promised myself the same.
You know those mountain spots that overlook a beautiful city vista? Once my health hits the point of no return, I plan to wrap myself in ACME dynamite and launch myself off there out of a trebuchet.
No.156553
I was thinking about this last night. I'd take an enormous personal loan that I couldn't possibly pay back, go to Japan and buy a car and spend the rest of my time driving around the countryside. I also want to go to places in Central Asia and Eastern Europe but I don't really know anything about travelling there
No.156554
>>156553>I'd take an enormous personal loan that I couldn't possibly pay back, go to Japan and buy a car and spend the rest of my time driving around the countryside.That actually sounds like a great plan. The Japan part was already on my bucket list, but the loan trick opens up so many possibilities.
No.156559
>>156553I would too but no one would give me a loan with my NEET income, or the lack of it
No.156560
Finally experience IV morphine along with some other drugs. Go to Japan. Take lots of MDMA with me. Spend weekend attending underground raves. Then go to forest and/or remote mountain top. Sit and starve.
No.156571
>>156511If I had a week or a month or something I'd be content, my thoughts wouldn't be "I've wasted my life" it would be "It was a good thing I wasted my life as it was so short anyway"
But fuck if I had a year that would be tricky, you could still make your mark on the world within a year
I suppose my only options would be to work myself raw on a creative project or
>>156526