Masturbation.
Relaxation.
Feline creatures.

Dunno. Stuff, I guess?

Man doesn't need a reason to exist, he exists and that is reason enough to live.

I live for the sake of accomplishing my objectives. And although there's a lot of them, it's pretty fuzzy, and I've taken a solid amount of detours along the way, I think it's going decently.

it's long gone now

>>122517
No... don't push me down this path again anon...

To be kind to others. Although my patience has really worn thin.

my mission is to bring blight to the rubber plantations in SEA and drive Penicillium camemberti extinct
might even kill the cavendish too

I try to be good and not be evil. Sometimes being good is hard and it makes people mad.

I think we're all in a horrible place and I'm searching for a way out of it.

>>160332
Also this:
>>160329

>>160329
>Although my patience has really worn thin.
Why is that?

>>160335
It takes willful effort to be nice and understanding to people who are purely self-serving. It's much easier to be jaded and not put in the effort into trying to view things in a fair way. It makes sense why being nice to those who are already nice is easy and more fruitful but the idea of letting people be miserable doesn't sit well with me, but the miserable often times only know misery so they try to drag you down with them... as awful as it sounds.

>>122517
lolis

>>160339
I would like to apologize to you for asking the question, I tend to feel an inner unrest when people talk about being good but having trouble with it, it always makes me assume the person is selfish and just judges others like a god, "I like to be good, but it's hard because everyone is so stupid, everyone but me". I feel bad now that your response is so reasonable, that's my bad character often getting the better of me and wanting to "validate my anger" - I'm essentially doing exactly what I dislike. It's so stupid.

I agree with you! I have those troubles as well (among others, evidently), it's hard not to just think "Well, fuck you then" and be done with someone who, for example, is unwilling to have a normal conversation with you without attacking you. Of course I mean an actual neutral conversation and not just "You're wrong, let me help you be right", which I could understand someone responding to angrily.

Please stay on your good path and don't give up on others, in spirit at least!

>>160341
Someone being aggressive for no reason can be handled by just talking to them normally. Often times their aggression to you is just their normal, or just an act they put up because that's what they were brought up to think is cool or whatever. It's people who go out of their way to be demeaning and hurtful who I don't like. Like trying to convince a pitbull to not enjoy being hurt or hurting others.

>>160341
I try not to judge people but I know where anon is coming from. I deal with a very self centered person everyday who does dumb things no matter how often I try to help him. He will do things like leave tools out in the rain to run. I pick them up and put them back where they're supposed to go.

I used to tell him I did it because if he needed the tool he'd know where it was. Also trying to break him out of his bad habit. I am very polite about it. But instead of changing his ways or at least thanking me for helping him he gets pissed off about it. He doesn't openly get mad or yell. But I can tell by the look he gives me that I've annoyed him.

But I can't stop picking things up behind him. Since he ruins them. Then buys more of the same thing and ruins that to. That's just one of the many things he does that annoys me. I've almost given up but I know I can't stop. If I don't he will eventually do something so stupid that he'll hurt himself. He's family so I'm stuck with him being around. If he wasn't family I would not have anything to do with him. He's so self centered that it's hard to be around him.

>>160343
I learned this the hard way with my father. He used to raise his voice when we'd have a disagreement. I'd raise mine out of habit because we're basically the same as far as we act. Next thing you know we'd be in a screaming match and both of us would get pissed off.

I finally figured out that we butt heads so much because we're so similar. So now when he raises his voice out of habit I act calm and calmly talk to him. Which snaps him out of it every time. I fought with him over everything for the first 20 or so years of my life. But now I've figured him out and we're really close. He tells me that I'm the only child he's got that he can hang out with like this. All the others still behave like they're children when they're around him and do not sit and talk with him or hang out and do stuff like working on things together.

I've learned so much just by spending time with him

The spilling of blood.

>>160349
Monolithian detected.

Survive and hope some day things get better.

>>122517
Just surviving day to day is enough for me

>>122517
What I wanna do is what I'm gonna do

I have none
I just go forward by inertia

taking it easy

Freeing my consciousness from the Earth plane.

>>160347
The important part about judging people is making sure you're not a hypocrite when you do so. How are you able to accomplish anything if you're unwilling to notice things about others and yourself? How are you able to be compassionate if you don't deeply understand the problems a person has? Or how do you develop humility if you're not able to see flaws?

>>160425
I'm not judging someone by calling out their stupidity. Let me tell you about stupidity.

Right now I'm watching a man ruin both a field and a $10k lawn mower. All due to his stupidity, spite and trying to keep up with the neighbors.

We have a field. I have worked hard for the last 8 years to keep the field in great condition. Since someday I might want to harvest hay from the field or turn cattle loose on it again. This requires having an IQ above 80 or so and working with nature. I let the field grow until it drops seed. Which it will do every 1-1.5 months or so depending on how often it rains.

Now. Enter the idiot. The idiot thinks mowing the field and the yards down to dirt no matter how often it rains every week is a good idea. The idiot is currently riding around on a $10k lawn mower he didn't buy which he's ruined by doing idiotic things like pulling around a weighted trailer which is 500+ pounds over weight for the lawn mower at half throttle. The idiot claims he read the instruction manual and that he can tow things behind the law mower. When the instruction manual says the engine must be run at 100% throttle as all times to prevent damage to the $1k+ pumps and not to tow anything larger than 50 pounds. The idiot could fix the pumps that have been leaking for 5 years due to his stupidity with a $50 seal replacement kit. But the idiot prefers to buy hydro oil to top up system that says right on the oil tank he's topping up "do not top up". The idiot is driving it around right now despite the fact that one of the pumps is not working at all. The idiot is riding around with a stick jammed in the choke to keep it open because he refuses to buy $20 carb to replace the one he refuses to clean which is gummed up because the idiot runs old gasoline half full of water through the system. The idiot runs old water downed gasoline through the engine because he leaves gas cans out in the rain. The idiot also leaves the mower out in the rain because it's leaking fluid due to the idiots actions and he doesn't want it staining the concrete in his garage where the lawn mower was stored for years in pristine condition before the last owner died and left it to him. The last owner said when he was still alive to never let the idiot use said lawn mower because he knew the idiot would ruin it.

I am currently watching idiot mow said field which was mowed 4 days ago. I'm watching the idiot ride around throwing up clouds of dirt because he's mowing it at the lowest setting on the lawn mower. The idiot is only mowing the dirt because he saw the neighbor mowing this morning. The idiot is wasting $30+ in gasoline to ruin the field I've spent the last several years attempting to keep alive. The idiot will never admit he's wrong about any of the things he's doing because he's a self absorbed idiot.

He deserves to be judged and we can only hope he'll come back as a worm or roach in his next life. I have no idea how he managed to incarnate as a human. He must have paid someone off or was put here simply to make everyone around him suffer.

This is just one of the many things the idiot does on a daily basis to ruin the lives of everyone around him. The idiot is the main reason why his family will be left with nothing after he dies. He's spent the last 8 years burning through every last bit of savings his parents worked their entire lives to save and he's ruined just about everything they left to him. Last year the idiot did several thousand dollars worth of damage to the nice house he was left by pressure washing it and holding the wand 1 inch from the siding. Again, refusing to read the instructions or watching a video and then getting offended when someone pointed out he was doing it wrong.

The idiot has never worked a day in his entire life. The idiot blows at least $1k a week on dumb stupid bullshit. The idiot eats cakes, cookies, donuts and various junk food while spending who knows how much a week in insulin to keep himself alive. The idiot visits the doctor every month because he's clinging to life and needs a variety of pills to support his horrible diet and life style. The idiot constantly finds new ways to do idiotic things and creative ways to waste money. The idiot regularly blows thousands of dollars on large purchases like boats then leaves them out in the weather to be ruined after using them one time. Last year the idiot bought a hot tub and promptly broke it after two or three uses for example.

I refuse to suffer fools and the world will be a better place when this idiot is no longer sharing it with us. I do not understand how this person is still alive. I watch the idiot regularly put himself into danger while being clueless and almost kill himself through his own stupidity at least four times each month.

I want to be a heavy metal rockstar.
In the meantime I'm just going to sit around and very slowly work towards getting my own place. The forecast is looking to be ... freedom at 43 years old. Hooray!

To live life to the fullest and with the least amount of suffering possible. Who knows how many people throughout history never had the privileges we have today. I make good use of what I have and hope for the best.

A couple years back I would've said something along the lines of "To keep my Grandmother happy." as she was honestly the only light in my life and had been for years. Nowadays it's just "To keep my Grandmother's dog comfortable." because she reiterated to me so many times that I'm the only person she'd trust to take care of her and I'm not going to let her down after everything.
After that, Maybe I'll kick back, relax, and watch the world burn for a while. Living for your own sake is difficult, as I've learned the hard way.

>>160864
Yeah in same boat. I have no reason to continue existing once my Grandmother dies. Maybe I might stick around to take care of my father. But I have siblings and I know they can handle changing his diapers once he's gone.

I mostly pretend to be happy for my Grandmother.

>>122517
I've lost mine a while back, I wander the wastes trying to find it once more.

>>122517
Playing by the "best methods and rules as per common sense specialist consensus and other cool concepts like reasonability, logics, empiricism, gestalt" even if it only ends up that I'm only hitting such unimaginable rock-bottoms that should not be possible despite anythings. Laws of physics being bent just to have my precise efforts not pay off even as failure. Reading almost relatable blog posts just to have the immersion break as there's casual break of relatability "anyway, I'm handling my promotion/girlfriend/business/projects/parties well even if I'm an anxietybrained reclusive awkward schizoidpilled neuropathymaxxer-" - don't fucking speak in any of such terms if those terms are not the only thing left in the rational corner of your life. This is not even misery, because at least misery offers a sweet narrative to overdose on. Cutting into my carotid while standing would help me cope in the most quick manner, but no, I just "HAVE" to see what kind of utter bullshit I've yet to see. "Snake eyes can only be rolled so many times" - man who's about to roll snake eyes indefinitely.
That, or to stumble around in apathy.

Well? Do I tattoo this raison d'être on my butt? They're eternally fixed profiles that describe everything so well you may as well treat them as prescriptions and demand refunds if the narrative didn't add up, no?

I SUFFER, THEREFORE I AM.

I AM, THEREFORE I SUFFER.

I don't know if it's raison so much as just a goal but I want to become at least a FIDE Master and am pouring all my free time into it. My first tournament is in less than a month.

>>122517
Pretty much just living for others, i rather don't enjoy my life and haven't since I could remember. Its been getting better, but honestly without a bit of faith and having someone to live for(helping my granny) I'd simply vanish into the sunset and become a vagabond, or kill myself.
It can be hard to obtain joy that doesn't come from a bottle or another