Just what /secret/ needs, more politics bait.

It has been a month since I've last took in the Wasa Reimu.
She bullies me relentlessly. I give her a Hershey's bar and she asks for Godiva. I give here Godiva and she asks for Lindt. The trash is full of uneaten chocolate bars.
When I put on her princess outfit, she immediately shits in it and tells me to lick it clean. I stammer that her kuso tastes like bean paste and it does not bother me, but then her smug, leering face makes me feel like a poo poo slave peasant anyway.
I don't think I have enough money for any more diamonds. Truth be told, she was initially happy with some beads I found at the dollar store, but then I let slip that I found them at the dollar store and she demanded real diamonds.
Once she grows up, she's going to want to mate. Do you think if I put on a hat, I can fool her? I think my penis is small enough that it won't be a problem. But if she sees through it, she's going to puff puff. Her puff puff gives me nightmares. Anything but the puff puff.