No.138121
>>138101I'm pretty sure a lot of the people feeling that feel are people who have had a relationship in the past and thus more acutely feel the difference in a life alone and the rest are dreaming of an idealized lifestyle. Even if you ignore the personal effects of people feeling like they're unable to progress towards their life goals, a large, aging population of singles is a pretty significant social issue. It doesn't garner much sympathy from people outside the effected group, though, since they could easily just get out there and do it by being themselves.
I don't think your mindset is particularly uncommon, just young and with a perspective just grounded enough to know your ideals aren't realistic without grounding the ideals themselves in realism.
No.138123
>>138101>how much is me just differing from the normI think it's mostly this. Never having ever felt even the need for romance is unusual in the population, to the point where I'd suspect people saying that to be the performative ones, rather than the tfw no gf people.
No.138129
When I was a teen I did fantasize about romance with real girls a lot, inspired by various Japanese media, mostly RPGs. "Hopeless romantic" was the term, right, pining for the idealized dream of two people sharing the greatest connection. Well, needless to say it didn't go anywhere, but it changed to general acceptance and then overall content since humans are good at adaptation.
Ironically I think it's the lack of experiencing it in real life that allows one to enjoy it more in fantasy. I remember a story of a Chinese guy that made a VN and some women mocked him for writing an unrealistic romance, but he commented that he couldn't write a realistic one because he never experienced it. If I read it, would I say it was unrealistic or would I just appreciate two people interacting? I think I'd see it for what it is. I'm sure lots of people would say the romance stories I've enjoyed were awkwardly written and unrealistic, but who cares about them?
I enjoy romance stuff a bit, but only to a degree. I avoid most of it just because it's boring and not out of any emotional avoidance. If it lacks anything else interesting then the romance part won't be interesting. When everything is good, though, it can really shine and greatly enhance a story.
No.138140
if you're ever feeling depressed because no wife just remember that real females are nothing like anime girls, anime girl personalities are complete fiction and the only possible way to have genuine long-lasting love is with a fictional girl
No.138142
>>138140thanks I'm going to snoof a shab now
No.138150
>All I want out of life is to be able to enjoy myself and appreciate the art and media other people create, with my only real desire being to create some game or story of my own one day.Y-yeah, same, OP. Same. W-w-w-w-what a c-c-c-coincidence, I think. No? M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-mayb
e we c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-co
uld..........
(´･ω･｀) No, no, pretend I didn't say anything, forget it.
>>138148 No.138152
it's simply a cultural perspective.
normos judge their life by the standards of the culture they were raised in. So when culture dictates that you must have a girlfriend to be happy, they'll be constantly comparing themselves to that ideal and they'll be unhappy when they are unable to attain it. At the same time you probably have some cultural perceptions of happiness that are incomprehensible to the average person.
There are true benefits from having someone by your side, but it's not like happiness is unattainable otherwise. I have always been alone, but it's not like I wouldn't like to have a partner.
No.138165
>>138164right, but even so do you get any bitches (♂)?
No.153108
>>138164Don’t care for companionship because I hate people.
>>138129"Realism" is unwarranted clinging to the worst outcomes in this case.
Real life is not realistic. Because realism has nothing to do with reality.
>>138121>a large, aging population of singles is a pretty significant social issueHow is it an issue? Is winter an issue?
No.153120
I do feel envious sometimes but it's moreso envy that other people can touch and interact with the person they love whereas my 2D wife is for all intents and purposes a ghost. They usually take it for granted and say they would break up if they couldn't do that. No amount of that is going to make me find 3D attractive or want to betray my wife, but it stings me with feelings of impotence on occasion.
No.153151
>>153108>Is winter an issueIt causes significant infrastructure damage, service outages, and loss of life every year, so yeah it kind of is an issue. Likewise, even if you exclude all the problems that come from people wanting partners and families and being unable to get them, it's still a major problem when there aren't enough engineers and electricians and doctors to replace the ones who are retiring. Altchans are constantly dying because they can't bring in enough new blood to sustain themselves, same issue on a different scale.
No.153152
This is some difficult topic. My takeaway is that altchan anons should breed each other to warm up and have altchan children
No.153154
I have my cat and that's good enough for me.
>>153152mpreg...
No.153200
Being alone is only lonley if you want it to be.
No.153204
>I do often wonder sometimes how much of the "tfw no gf" stuff is performative and how much is me just differing from the norm
It's the latter, most people desire real relationships. I am on the same page as you but people like us are somewhat outliers.
No.153213
Back when I was a NEET, I used to idealize a perfect relationship like they have in the animes. But after getting into the real world, I've realized that the prospect of having an anime-type relationship with anyone is close to none. I know its obvious, but it really differs a lot from anime; I guess that's why anime are made, they're ideals of the author, not a reflection on reality.
My brain still craves for that perfect living though. A happily married couple, no financial troubles, cute kids that love each other and their parents. But I know that realistically, neither does a perfect relationship exist, and nor am I qualified to be in said perfect relationship, even if it did exist. I'd rather spend all day infront of a computer than go out on a date with my girlfriend, no way I'm getting a girlfriend like that and I don't think I can ever change that.
I still like looking at good looking women like I looking at good looking art though.
No.153237
I've already accepted that my only friend ever will be Anonymous
No.153253
>>153225Romance anime does make me sad
No.153301
>>153289I love interspecies romance between cute things...
No.153302
>>138140Yeah, women can be as disappointing, if not more, than us. And the older they get, the worse it gets because it's more likely for them to lose any sort of romanticism besides shallow materialistic notions society imprints onto them. Quite unsurprising considering they can easily get a decent dude if they're not fat and have a modicum of confidence.
No.153310
>>153289big rabbit or small cat?
No.153315
>>138101I don't care, I realized long ago that I'm not fit to have a gf let alone kids because I'm lazy, good for nothing and have a very short, explosive temper. I'm a recipe for a bad household with neglected kids, so I just won't have any family.
No.153320
I had an argument with some anon on the forgotten chan once a long while ago, i think it was during the initial boom of AI and people were talking about robot wives. I don't remember the details but he said that I'm not looking for a wife or love, I'm just looking for someone or something to do my chores for me.
Honestly, it opened my eyes up. I started thinking about what it is I actually want, and started splitting it into core aspects somehow and reduced it to its core formulas.
>household maintenance
Being a w*geslave, it's obvious to me why throughout history, women had the role of maintaining the house. While I'm out there eating shit and dirt, when I come back home I'd hardly want to deal with cleaning or cooking for myself.
>companionship
Cursed be these human genes that urge me to desire human company. We all have our waifus here so it's not hard to understand the appeal. That being said, I've come to realize that the idealization and romancification of it makes people blind to the fact that the rose-tinted vision events actually only happen pretty rarely. You don't get those straight-out-of-shoujo-manga interactions every day, if ever. A lot of the time its pretty casual, and if you'd ask any couple you'll hear that there's no shortage of uglier moments.
>birds-&-bees thing
I don't need to elaborate. One of the more annoying curses of the flesh.
After I divided it all into these core aspects, I wondered what I can do to fix it. When I thought about it, a real wife might seem like a convenient three-in-one-package that fixes all that... Except it all comes with downsides as well. Big ones.
You can't rely on a wife help you out at home, even in the best case scenario you'll only feel guilty or uneasy with leaving chores to someone else for one reason or another, and worse cases (which seem to be more and more common these days), you'll just end up having to do chores for her instead, if not outright fighting over who does what and how properly it was done.
>my solution
Modern times create modern conveniences. Laundry doesn't bother me at all, and for cleaning, I bought a robot vacuum that also mops the floor. For security concerns I put it on a separate network that only allows network activity during the time I set it to automatically work, and limited the bandwidth to half a gig for good measure. For everything else I only really need to occasionally wipe with a wet towel. At random once every couple weeks I do more hardcore cleaning in certain areas (never everything at once). The home isn't perfectly spotless at all times, but it doesn't need to be.
Food-wise, I (ironically) borrow the wisdom of japanese housewives on 作り置き (meal prepping). I just go to youtube, set search settings to include subtitles and look up 作り置き, sometimes with more specific key terms like bento or meat centric stuff. Meal prep culture in the west is really, really behind and cooking related videos in general almost always have this "TV cooking show" feeling to them where the focus seems to be the "host" rather than the food and it's insanely obnoxious and unwatchable, and the stuff they cook tends to be very bland because for some reason the word meal prep somehow got inherently associated with active gym life style. I can't for the life of me figure out why but gym people just hate food with flavor.
This is a very big deal and if you take anything in my post into heart I recommend this one. Food is life. Relying on instant ramen and cheap microwave meals will just kill you inside out, both physically and mentally. Even if you're a NEET, making yourself a nice stock of reliable, ready-in-minutes good, healthy meals is a huge, HUGE life changer. Spending several hours in the kitchen one day can leave you stress-free in regards to food for a week, maybe even several depending on the scale. Start small, though. Inexperience drags out your time in the kitchen by magnitudes. I started with only like two bags of chicken with sauces and some veggies just as a "throw in the pan and dinners ready" measure at first.
Wow I didn't know there was a text size limit here, continuing in next post
No.153321
>>138101Relationships sound good in theory, but there isn't a single person I'd be comfortable sharing my most favorite interests with non-anonymously. Having to play therapist daddy with some psychologically underdeveloped cretin (even most of men are like this) that's likely already physically and mentally calloused from previous relationships is not what I want to waste whatever it is that is still remaining of my heartbeat on.
It's entirely possible to get to the best outcome with some decent partner that's possible to find, but all of the positives of such a endeavor feel less appealing than lying on bed and relaxing. People are already insufferable even when they're kept at distance, much less when they're allowed to be a step closer, and I've yet to talk how they're biomass that doesn't have proper hygiene and sensible common sense thoroughly internalized within their poorly maintained brains.
Life itself isn't for me and I'm reminded of this with every exhaled breath.
No.153322
>>153320 (cont)
>companionshipTruth be told I lucked the hell out in several aspects. Not only do I still have friends from high school, and I'm also low maintenance. I can and usually even prefer to meet with them once every two weeks or beyond. Due to their situations it can go for as long as several months between us meeting up, and this works out pretty great for me. With that in mind I don't know if I could even handle a more intimate relationship without burning out, and I
will burn out when the uglier aspects of a relationship start showing.
>solutionAside from my friends and the occasional chatting on the internet, media does more than enough for me. Visual novels give me exactly all I want in a potential partner with non of the bitter stuff (unless its part of the story, but thats fine too), along with a pause and save button so that I could conveniently disengage and go about my life at will. I am aware that at some point in my life my friends might drift away, in fact one of them are already in that stage. I don't know how effective it'll be, but worst comes to worst I'm considering inflicting schizophrenia on myself by making a tulpa or two. Maybe AI will get good enough as well.
As for the last thing, well, I've got two hands. Maybe I'll get an onahole in the future. This works in conjunction with visual novels.
Really typed up a whole wall of shit but I guess what I'm trying to say is, a lot of people get hung up on the idea of a GF without considering whether they actually need a GF or if they can get by with several things that take the place of one. I've somewhat recently found what I think is my one true waifu, and there's absolutely no chance in the world that a woman IRL could ever match up. My standards are unrealistically high, and worse than that, very specific. People will tell you to compromise and lower your standards, but I think those people are stupid. This is someone you're supposed to spend your whole life with, going for anything less than perfect is usually just a setup to an eventually breakup, rendering all the time and energy you spent on the relationship a waste. It's utterly baffling to me how many people go through marriage only to eventually contribute to the nearly 50% divorce rate. And think, those 50% are couples that decide that it's worth the time and energy to go through the whole legal nightmare process of a divorce. Imagine to yourself how many of the 50% lasting couples only stick around together because they only tolerate each other enough to not pick the nuclear option and make a mess of their lives. Then imagine yourself in that position.
Yeah no, I'm good with the alternatives. It may not be perfect, but I've weighted the pros and cons and I'm confident in my choices.
No.153325
>>153321>much lessOr much more? It's a typo I could argue for in both ways. If they're closer, it means you have more means to shut them up, but it's all rolling in dirt with pigs.
This only reminds me that I feel betrayed by myself for my stubbornness to stay alive.
No.153330
>>153320>householdYeah, modern appliances have done a ton to make managing this by yourself a lot easier.
Thank you for the cooking recommendations!
I've only recently got into it and it's kind of fun.
>companionshipPeople tend to assume that they need a romantic companion when friends and family can also do the job. I have people to share things with and laugh with. I don't think it's that different from a basic romantic relationship, especially when I can cuddle with friends and family too (or cats, those are usually up for i). I dated once and it just made me really nervous which made it less enjoyable than hanging out with friends. In fact, I was friends with that person before and I preferred the friendship we had over the relationship we tried out. I'm glad we're back to being friends now.
>sex>I've got two handsThis. Sex seems kinda gross and scary to me. I thought about trying it out but when the time came, I indeed didn't want to go through with it... When the benefits are sexual gratification + social intimate connection, I can get that with masturbation for one and being non-sexually intimate with my friends for the other. Given that I doubt that I'd enjoy irl sex, I don't think I'd actually get any of those benefits from it anyway. Only the downsides and there are potentially a lot of those.
>>153321>underdeveloped cretinMost isolated people I meet tend to think like this. One of my friends says he chooses isolation out of sheer arrogance because "the common plebs are beneath him". Even though he's kind of an ass and perfectly aware of it. Everyone has their own faults but I feel like isolated people tend to be self-conscious and overestimate how badly theirs would impact their relationships while they also have very little tolerance for other people's faults. I can't fully relate because my isolation is caused by AVPD but I think I've gotten a bit better with it... maybe, idk...
I've read that a lot of self-isolating people just don't get that much out of social interactions, so it'd make sense why different things would take priority, even if socialising normally is an option for them.
No.153336
it's hard to explain, but I haven't really found anyone I can tolerate for extended periods of time.
Nearly every single one of my relationships failed, because I'm a generally lethargic person and I need too much (physical) space.
I'm also not exactly very thrilled about "doing things" and I work too much, meaning that most of my downtime is rotting until the next work day.
I simply don't have the energy for a serious relationship, even if I sometimes think that it would be nice. But I have accepted that most people probably won't be compatible with me, let alone people I'd be interested in looking at.
No.153339
>>153330>Most isolated people I meet tend to think like this. I thoroughly interact with people at least 5 times a week. You probably mean "isolated in private life" though.
>One of my friends says he chooses isolation out of sheer arrogance because "the common plebs are beneath him"I've long thrown out any rationalizations because the instinctual disgust and disappointment happen even when I give leeway with an open mind. It's even worse when people out there treat you better when you treat
them like garbage - as long as you're not pushing for cutting off contact. It's a consistent pattern than I never can get used to. At this point I'm not sure if it's me who's misanthropic or it's the people around me or if misanthropy is actually good or I'm subhuman or I'm too human for the people around me.
>I've read that a lot of self-isolating people just don't get that much out of social interactions, so it'd make sense why different things would take priority, even if socialising normally is an option for them.I'd be grateful for book or article recommendations on this, if you have any. I'm disgruntled about human relationships even after reading and successfully applying specialist psychology books.
No.153359
>>153339I would like to hear more about those psychology books(and what specific books those are, I'm sure we got plenty of kuso psychology/self-help books on the market) and what you were doing besides the vague misanthropy thing.
About that treating pepper like garbage... I think that it could be us being very sensitive about what we consider a rude behavior while normies might consider it assertiveness. Out vice versa because our not-so rude behavior is read as "cutting off contact" thing.
No.153388
how to pick up cosplay gf at con
No.153390
File::o.png (55.71 KB,165x215)
>>153389Dear diary. Today, anon was Einstein
No.153393
>>153389You jest, but you're not wrong.
No.153395
>>153393I'm not joking.
This is the key mechanism to get your beloved "X gf". Works every time.
No.153503
My interests are way too spread out thin or too normie-unfriendly to get a gf.
Somehow got matched with a chick on dating app(the fact she is overweight like most of ~30 year old women out there could explain my lack of enthusiasm) and I don't quite know what I could talk with her about. In offline you could do some observational humor out whatever, but in void of texting space I'm quite lost. What I'm supposed to tell her? That I screwed up current pan bread and that I trying to make a next one or watching random YouTube documentaries? I told her about my hike yesterday while she had nothing to say because she was "resting" and probably watching whatever normie slop they have.
I hoped I could connect with someone over anime stuff at some tiny festival, but they were probably more socially shy than me out just had even shallower interest in it then me(not that the sellers had something beyond most mainstream stuff, besides some Made In Abyss posters).
No.153650
>>153339>You probably mean "isolated in private life" though.Yeah, that's what I meant, sorry for being vague.
>disgust and disappointment>if misanthropy is actually good or I'm subhuman As I said, I think some kind of self-loathing plus misanthropy may be a common reaction to being socially isolated in private. At least that's what I gather from the people
I know, I haven't actually read studies on this.
>I'd be grateful for book or article recommendations on thisI got it from wikipedia and I think I may have misunderstood it a bit...
At
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_isolation#Perceived_social_isolation_in_humans it says that perceived social isolation can lead to
"heightened sensitivity to social threats, and a self-protective confirmatory bias in social cognition" and that "the social interactions of individuals who feel socially isolated are more negative and less subjectively satisfying".
I took that to mean that since isolated people have less satisfying interactions, that it means that they don't get as much out of them. But when I looked at the article that part cited, it lead to this study:
https://kuscholarworks.ku.edu/server/api/core/bitstreams/c85ac5e4-a9ad-4a96-ad79-b98fab2042c3/content It says on page 13 that "Our data supports the notion that socially connected individuals differ from lonely individuals in their perceptions of everyday social experiences, with social connectedness characterized by persistently enhanced perceptions of positivity and reduced perceptions of negativity in interaction quality and affect."
But also that
"(...) analysis indicate that socially connected individuals do not experience longer-lasting effects of positive interactions on mood, or of positive affect on interaction quality, than do lonely individuals".
So lonely people will also benefit from positive social interactions, they're just more likely to perceive interactions as less positive than so-called connected individuals would...
>>153504>I believe myself to be superior to most others, but I also loathe myselfI think that sums it up well. If you perceive increased negativity and decreased positivity in social interactions and likely put more emphasis on other people's flaws rather than their good points, of course you'd think less of them. That doesn't mean you'll think well about yourself either though.
I remember when I was isolated for a really long time that I felt a lot more easily threatened by people and hyperaware of any signs of rejection because I've been bullied and hurt before. One of my friends simply looks down on other people and claims that he's just better than them, but when he socialises, he gets pretty meek and it really vexes him to have to compromise on anything because other people have their own minds and not everyone thinks like him.
I often felt inferior to others so I isolated myself to feel better since I wouldn't have to feel other people's judgement and rejection. Seeing other people happily socialising made me feel envious and also made me want to find ways to feel like I'm better than them. Like, "these popular people are so blind to what really matters, they don't have struggles to get wisdom from and they mostly care about stupid things while my musings are profound and my isolation gives me such unique perspective and introspection which they must surely lack" etc, just very silly when I was a hikki playing hentai VNs all night. But really, everyone has flaws and strengths and even if some people are really weird and believe in nonsensical things, it doesn't necessarily mean that they don't have anything to offer. Nobody is perfect and especially upbeat people often turn out to be surprisingly anxious beneath their hypersocial shell. A lot of self-isolating people I know are really chill in comparison. I wouldn't say one group is better than the other, especially when most people are in-between extremes. I think less privately social people tend to think more in terms of hierarchy because they see themselves as the outsiders who'll have to work harder to integrate, but social interactions can be very fluid and most people really aren't looking down on you, they're usually too busy with themselves lol. I've also come to enjoy chatting with people more, even if I still struggle to not talk endlessly about whatever I like. Taking interest in what other people like first and trying to find subjects we're both interested in learning about helps.
Most humans naturally enjoy sharing information and interacting with one another, even if it's just on image boards... or in their imagination... I'd still count it.
No.153692
What I gather from this thread is that people:
¥ Are getting by alright, so are quick to write off the possible benefits of a relationship as unnecessary.¥ are uncomfortable with having their routine disrupted by needing to slot in another person¥ Generalize the pool of potential partners, which leads to a strong negative bias as to their assumed traits¥ don't have any opportunities for relationships put in front of them¥ overemphasize their own negative traits to justify their pessimistic outlook without doing anything to rectify the issueJust like all the whores who are convinced they'll be 21 forever and keep clubbing and hooking up until their ovaries are dried up husks, you sit in front of your computer lazing away like that's all there will ever be to life. Local communities are weak and the dating scene is all hookup apps so the nuances of real people and their personal situations is lost to superficial judgments and the natural progression of romance appearing on an existing relationship is all but gone. And by the time something happens that makes it through the societal coddling to make you realize you're on a sinking ship, you're hit with the dual whammy of being less fit for accomplishing what you should have done a decade ago and being so set in your ways that what opportunities you do have all look like big steps down. Sounds like major social issues to me.
Also, the primary reason for a relationship is to have kids. Any list of "reasons why I've ascended beyond the need for a gf" that doesn't address this point is completely pointless. Onaholes and meal prep and roombas are great for satisfying your short-term needs, but are those what you want to be surrounded by on your death bed? Is that the legacy you want to want to leave behind?
>>153322>50% divorce rateHighly misleading statistic since serial divorcees drag the numbers way up and it includes partnerships that had massive red flags. Just making sure she hasn't fucked another guy before ensures a statistical likelihood of a long-lasting marriage.
No.153696
>>153692Contributing a bottle of fine wine to sewage water? I'd rather not.
No.153697
>>153692>Just making sure she hasn't fucked another guy before Not everyone can afford kindergarten age girlfriends here, sir.
No.153710
>>153692>Is that the legacy you want to want to leave behind?Having kids for "legacy" is really selfish and you should not do that. Have kids because you think you can give them a better life than you yourself have had.
No.153712
>>153692>Generalize the pool of potential partners, which leads to a strong negative bias as to their assumed traitsWord.
>the primary reason for a relationship is to have kidsI also think that that's a you-thing.
Not everyone who wants a relationship is interested in ever having kids.
>>153697>All women are whoresLegit maidenless speak. Most of my close women friends have never had a boyfriend nor sex, the incl thing was actually started by a "late-bloomer" woman who wanted to connect lonely individuals with one another before men started blaming women for their loneliness and laid claim to the term. I hate the notion that all computer addicted hikkeys are men while girlfailures are ignored because what, they're assumed to be fat and unattractive and therefore don't exist? So annoying
No.153714
>>153712There are no girls on the internet.
No.153717
>>153692¥overemphasize their own negative traits to justify their pessimistic outlook without doing anything to rectify the issueMy biggest negative trait is that I'm extremely lazy, which seems to be an issue that's impossible to rectify. I wish I had a wife and kids but there is no way to get there that isn't blocked by laziness. Maybe someday there'll be a draft for a big war my country gets involved in, and if I successfully dodge that draft there'll be such a shortage of men that a woman will settle for me. That or inheriting millions of dollars from a rich relative that most likely doesn't exist dying are the only two possible scenarios I can see that don't result in my bloodline ending with me.
No.153719
>>153712>>All women are whoresWhom are you quoting? How would you "make sure", exactly?
No.153720
>>153699Listen all you need to do is have sex and have at least 4 kids.
No.153722
>>153712>Not everyone who wants a relationship is interested in ever having kids.True, and I don't really get why people can't see this and by extension call any relationship that doesn't lead to procreation worthless. There's plenty of ways for one to leave a legacy without needing to have kids.
No.153724
>>153723the norms the norms the norms the norms the norms the norms the norms the norms the norms the norms the norms the norms the norms the norms the norms the norms the norms the norms the norms the norms the norms the norms the norms the norms
No.153726
>>153712There are exceptions, of course, but the vast majority of people who want serious, long-term relationships with another person are planning for kids to be part of it. You can want the other benefits of a relationship without wanting kids, but those things are all much, much easier to replace with substitutes or less serious relationships.
Also, it doesn't matter what gender hikkis are because they've placed themselves outside the pool of applicants. Girlfailures just get less sympathy because the barrier they have to overcome to get a partner is basically 100% in their own mind.
>>153722>There's plenty of ways for one to leave a legacy without needing to have kidsYes, but people who have a higher purpose don't go on imageboards to whine about >tfw no gf. They don't need to do mental gymnastics to justify their lack of action, they just say there's something more important they're working towards.
No.153727
>>153725i can SMELL the normness off your non-stinky washed self
No.153728
>>153725It's understandable that you'd see a thread about the meta reasons for ronery threads and think it was a ronery thread, it's a fine line between sharing an idea that is informed by your personal experience and just throwing your personal situation into the pile. We've also let all those blog threads go on forever so it's our own fault if newcomers think blogging is the norm here.
I don't know why the word "normie" keeps popping up here, though. That's not something anyone on kissu or its adjacent communities have ever been accepting of.
No.153731
File:6.jpeg (22.63 KB,306x300)
Roughly half of girls I tried to get to know better (mostly the ones that seemed at least remotely interesting) were such absolutely hollow gossipy individuals that I could feel my disappointment physically on each realization, almost as perceptible pain. "What am I doing with my life, spending my time with a person like this."
Other girls are more dynamic for the worse, either seeing you as what you aren't and then getting offended when they get a reality check, or having no fidelity whatsoever and seeing you as just another statistic to retrieve the validation their minds depend on from, or trying to drag you into their composite boyfriend system that involves other guys, each is a partial boyfriend.
None of them have enough psychological development, and all of them will stink, will age, will succumb to the sweetness of power games, will try to inflict psychological damage on you purposely or accidentally, won't be there for you when you turn into a wreck for just a little bit longer than they will endure.
People barely ever truly mature, men or women. They do get more calloused and more sly in ways to sell themselves. So I wouldn't rely on some vague hopes of a bad relationship like such cases to improve, because I had seen for myself and others that it doesn't work this way.
So, in my experience, relationships are states of an interpersonal social contract where you're to choose between 2 extremes of reasons to commit suicide. I hate Schopenhauer, by the way.
>>153359That's what I'm thinking. "Normal people" are conditioned into being battered wives without having any of the positives of being a wife.
>and what you were doing besides the vague misanthropy thingI don't understand your question.
>what specific books those are48 Laws Of Power (I learned such things before I had read the infamous book, but it's easier to recommend this book), Freud therapy stuff, Jung therapy stuff, DBT therapy stuff, basics of evolutionary biology's signaling theory (the last one has a caveat for outcasts in that your outcast aura/appearance/habits can be actually advantageous if you handle yourself with acceptance of yourself, i.e. as per the 48LoP). It's more than enough to run circles around almost anyone.
No.153734
>>153731but what about lacan
No.153738
>>153734What about Lacan?
No.153739
>>153738what about lacanian psychoanalysis
No.153742
>>153739I don't remember finding it practically useful.
No.153747
>>153692>are uncomfortable with having their routine disrupted by needing to slot in another personIt's legitimately almost disturbing how much this one line fits me, and I didn't even properly recognize this myself until you spelled it out.
That being said
>you sit in front of your computer lazing away like that's all there will ever be to life.> being less fit for accomplishing what you should have done a decade ago>but are those what you want to be surrounded by on your death bed? Is that the legacy you want to want to leave behind?I don't concern my self with something in the far far future. I sometimes even actively stop myself from worrying too much over things that are in the medium-far future because whatever problem turns up there's always some solution to it, typically not much worse than whatever solution I'd have to spend breaking my back over a decade ahead. (excluding health of course)
I don't even need to dump a bunch of text explaining why or how I became like this, because it's simple.
I just wanna take things easy. A boring life where nothing in particular happens until I randomly kick the bucket watching holographic TV sounds perfect for me.
I don't want to spend time conjuring up potential future unfortunate scenarios, or thinking about how I'll randomly grow regrets like tumors, because just as I act to solve my current problems, I can solve future ones as well.
And if I end up regretting it? I'll just have to suck it up. I don't expect life to be perfect at all times and I sure as hell am not going to move mountains to make it perfect.
No.153751
>>153747>excluding health of courseIt's weird that you can acknowledge a clear example of where your philosophy falls on its face and still adamantly defend it. But I guess the only cure for short-termism is a long life.
No.153753
>>153751Philosophy doesn't apply to physical health. I can't say I do a whole lot more than eat less bad food and ride my bike to where I need to go though
No.153757
>>138101I've come to accept that either fate/universe/God will deliver her to me, or she doesn't exist. Better not to force these things. This attitude frees up a lot of mental energy to use for other purposes.
>>153731>I hate Schopenhauer, by the way.Why do you hate Schopy?
No.153777
>>153728>I don't know why the word "normie" keeps popping up here, though. That's not something anyone on kissu or its adjacent communities have ever been accepting of.Yeah, it's always been "norp" and "the norms".
No.153778
I realized that what I really wanted from a tfw gf is a pet loli for sex and housekeeping and making babies with. No intellectual stimulation needed because the internet already provides that.
No.153784
>>138101I don't give a fuck about getting a gf. what I care about the people around being a pain in my ass.
>call company to ask question>woman tells me thing>ask a different question about thing>woman repeats thing with louder voice (does not answer new question)example 2:
>enter job site >go to relieve employee>it's a black person>they or their car smell like weeddon't know why anyone would want a gf in this economy
No.153787
>>153753What the fuck are you talking about? Do you seriously think physical health is the only area where your current actions can create or prevent problems in the future?
No.153791
>>153692Sure, all valid points, but I am perfectly content with my life. Even if it's not a great one, a job is a means to an end, and that end is the hobbies that make me happy.
>the primary reason for a relationship is to have kidsThis is also true, however, making them is the easiest part. Children are a massive investment and TLC isn't enough to raise them anymore. Modern society is gay and hellbent on squeezing blood from stones. It's not like it was 50 years ago.
While I would love to have kids, they don't have a choice on being born and I have no idea what kind of future they'll have given the climate of things. I couldn't tell you what cost of living is going to look like in 5 years, let alone the 20 some years you're supporting one or more of your spawn. If me and a wife both work just to support them financially, then what time is there to actually raise them? I was blessed to have a good childhood, but I could tell there was a change in the late 2000s where both parents started to work a lot more and argue a lot more. I don't even want to get into what kind of shit they'll be fed in schools, but educating them and setting them up for adult life isn't one of them.
tl;dr unless I move to a place that isn't cock and ball torture for starting a family, popping out kids just isn't in the docket. So I stopped worrying about it.
>>153751Health has simple cause and effect over any period of time. It's predictable. My actions are the sole input of the resulting consequence. I eat shit, therefore I feel like shit. As opposed to everything else in life where you get screwed despite doing everything right. Why should I stress myself to death worrying about current interest rates or whatever when it all becomes moot in a few years due to change out of my control. Make a token common sense preventative like slipping money into savings and stop worrying about it.
>>153753>Philosophy doesn't apply to physical health.Probably not what you were meaning, but in a way it can. Mental health impacts your physical health. The most obvious is stress and anxiety.
No.153792
>>153751That wouldn't cure anything, it'd just expose problems while providing no solutions. Getting a wife so you can have children to take care of you when you're broken down doesn't have a strong enough air of romance to make me want to do anything. It sounds kind of gross, actually.
No.153793
>>153791This seems to be another recurring theme in this thread where people see no middle ground between devoting every second of every day to stressing about negative possibilities and putting no effort whatsoever into building or maintaining human relationships. I'm not sure if it's an intentional fallacy to create a greater sense of justification for the status quo or just a mental shortcoming when basing analysis on vague anecdotes and other low-context data.
Also, always funny to see people lament the way things used to be while simultaneously holding up a "common sense" completely foreign to that time.
No.153795
>>153792Brushing your teeth and putting money in a retirement account isn't romantic either, so you probably shouldn't do those either.
No.153796
>>153795You're doing possibly both of those things wrong if they're not romantic enough for you.
No.153800
>>153692The only foolproof way to create a legacy is by making a mark on the world. That's why figures like Newton are remembered and your ancestors are not. After a few generations, people will have forgotten about you, if it ever gets to multiple generations, that is. You better hope your descendants avoid terrible misfortunes, like a car crash, succumbing to a pandemic, dying in a school shooting, or any of the many hardships that life may throw at them, so they can have children. Even worse for a traditionalist would be the possibility that your children might choose not to have children at all.
>Just making sure she hasn't fucked another guy before ensures a statistical likelihood of a long-lasting marriage.Are you sure you're in a position to point out statistical likelihoods? You made a biased point as well. Women who haven't yet had sex by the time they're in the average age for marriage (tiny number by the way) are most likely to be religious, and religious people tend to avoid divorce overall even if their marriage is subpar.
No.153801
>>153800"leaving a mark on the world" is fairly nebulous, if you read the thread you can see anonymous' argument is more practical than that
i largely agree with him, but the person i love said no, so i'm working on it
No.153805
>>153787No, obviously not. What I am saying is that I prioritize and adjust my efforts. I don't health crazy serious or anything, but if possible I don't wanna feel like a zombie by the age of 35 because I end up eating only fast food or something. In that condition where my body is functioning badly, there's fundamentally no easy fixing for it and it'll make every other aspect in my life much worse.
Not having a gf or kids is something I can perfectly live without, having those things would be an investment that I outright don't want to deal with.
Thats what I mean by taking it easy; I'd rather put most of my work and effort towards my very small bubble rather than overextend and burn the living shit out of myself.
No.153807
>>153800That's some next level pessimism that looks at a world with 8 billion people and average life expectancies in the 80s and decides it's so likely that all of your offspring will die without children that it's not even worth attempting.
And now you're setting up a system where you will never be satisfied. If she doesn't stay with you forever then she's a whore not worth your time and if she does stay with you she's just prolonging your misery. Generalizations.
No.153846
>>138101>conversations we'd have in the past about failed norms vs true sages. But then there's been plenty of stuff I've seen strewn about the internet about "epidemics" of people without love and how it's a big social issue or whatnotRemember - normal people don't exist anymore.
No.153874
>>153731>I don't understand your question.I was asking what specific... techniques you were employing when dealing with "normal" people. Your answer about the books gives some hints already, though, especially the 48 Laws of Power one, I need to reread it.
You also mention using the outcast status to your own advantage. I'm curious about it.
No.153884
>>153807Pessimism? If you want to be a parent then go ahead, I'm not an anti-natalist. Perhaps the tone of my previous post may have been too confrontational, so I want to clarify that I'm attacking the cancerous idea that people should have children for any reason other than a desire to be parents. First, your sense of fulfillment is reliant on someone else, who must not be taken for granted, as I pointed out in my post. Second, if you're not fit to be a parent, you'll cause long-term misery for another person just to satisfy your own pride. Do not reproduce out of sheer societal pressure.
No.154622
>>153846Explain that to my parents who totally expected me to jump at the chance of getting with some overweight single mother.
I might be just a little more than a manchild with a mediocre job, but I still have dignity.
No.154638
>>154622Same. I get that they're just being practical considering what's available to the poor souls who didn't find a partner in school, but there's a point where you can't reasonably lower the bar any more.
No.154640
>>154638I find that especially insulting that NOW they woke up and doing interventions instead of like ten years ago when they preferred to tell me I still got time. Father now tries to shame me into going after that single mother by boasting how he (allegedly) got plenty of girlfriends at youth, but of course he didn't bother teaching me anything about that.
Not only I'm a bit too old to get a cute gf, but the culture also went to shit, with both offline AND online dating becoming impossible to do(former due to some social scare of rapists or whatever and latter because dating apps are designed to make money first and connect people third + swiping culture) and also women also getting memed into chasing careers into large cities instead of starting families.
I'm not the only one being alone in my town.
Shit's fucked, but the older folks simply can't comprehend it.
No.154652
>>154644AAAAAAAAAAAAA TASUKETE SENKO-SAN
No.154815
>>138101In my experience, the vast majority of people who can't get a GF don't really like women to begin with. They never put themselves in situations where they could theoretically initiate a relationship, and when they do, they have nothing but complaints. I honestly think that a lot of them are flat out gay, but never really considered seeking out male companionship.
>>153692>Also, the primary reason for a relationship is to have kids. Any list of "reasons why I've ascended beyond the need for a gf" that doesn't address this point is completely pointless. Onaholes and meal prep and roombas are great for satisfying your short-term needs, but are those what you want to be surrounded by on your death bed? Is that the legacy you want to want to leave behind?¥The purpose of life is to create more life which creates more life ad-infinitumAm I the only one who thinks that this is a nightmarish, nauseating way of looking at the world?
No.155055
>>154815>Am I the only one who thinks that this is a nightmarish, nauseating way of looking at the world?It is, everyone who thinks like this is insane.